By AF, Realist
Last night, a report on ESPN by Chris Haynes came out saying LeBron James could end up in Golden State next season if they could offer James a max deal. I honestly can’t remember ever reading a more preposterous rumor in my life in regards to LeBron James. There are some folks who think LeBron is just chasing rings at this point and would sell his soul (and dignity) and join the Warriors just to win championships. I’ve tried explaining how idiotic this ideology is, but they won’t listen to me. Anyway, this laughable rumor got me thinking. Since I’m 1 billion percent confident that LeBron will not be a Golden State Warrior next season, I decided to put together a list of teams LeBron would more likely play for next year than that team out west. Let’s examine the potential suitors…
There have been rumors for years about LeBron starring in Space Jam 2. I think after an exhibition with Bugs, Taz, and the Looney Toons, LeBron will see the benefit to signing a long term deal with the Warner Bros. organization. The team doesn’t age at all, so LeBron would have a group of experienced young guys for the rest of his career. Bugs is a proven leader at point guard which would help lighten the load for LeBron. Foghorn Leghorn provides that great interior presence that could give LeBron the inside out game possibility offensively. Taz is a phenomenal defender and has hustle I haven’t seen since the Delly days. LeBron would definitely sign with the Toon Squad before Golden State. The benefits are obvious.
Lithuanian team Prienu Vytautas (Big Baller Brand team)
We all know how much LeBron loves LaVar and the rest of the Ball family. LaVar has been trying to get LeBron to play in LA with Lonzo for almost a year now. But you know what LaVar would want more than LeBron playing with one of his sons? LeBron playing with TWO of his sons! LaMelo is a young point guard taking the league by storm (kind of like Kyrie did with the NBA before LeBron came back) and LiAngelo provides that sturdy scoring threat that LeBron likes on his teams (Kevin Love). The pieces are in place to have the Lithuanian Big 3 and LeBron could become a Big Baller for life! What’s not to love? I mean, I don’t know what the conversion rate for currency in Lithuania is, but I bet they could pay LeBron handsomely over there. Plus LeBron could probably play with his son on that team in a couple years instead of waiting for LeBron Jr. to graduate from college. Enticing stuff!
The Harlem Globetrotters
Everyone says LeBron just wants to win, right? You know who wins basically all the time? The Globetrotters! LeBron would never lose! Plus there’s a whole lot of talent on that squad to work with. He could sign a long term deal knowing he has support offensively and doesn’t have to exert himself defensively if he doesn’t want to. It would alleviate a lot of the pressure he has to carry the team year in and year out. He would still have to travel across the country, but he’s used to the rigorous travel schedule and keeps himself in good enough shape that he could handle it with ease. He already has a nickname, “The King,” and knows how to entertain. It seems like a perfect fit!
Get rid of all of his endorsements and play for a college team
LeBron is a notoriously cheap guy, so getting rid of all of his endorsements to go use his NCAA eligibility is a viable option! I’m sure he has plenty of money in savings to live off of for four years even without making any endorsement money. What better way to add to your legacy than to win four consecutive NCAA championships?! Plus the recruiting is something LeBron has admitted he enjoys in the past, so he could get another taste of it in his 30s! Did MJ win 4 straight national championships? Nope! LeBron says he wants to chase MJ, so now he can surpass him with college rings. Would LeBron play for Duke since he has the Olympic experience with Coach K? What about playing for Coach Calipari at Kentucky? LeBron’s been to a few of those games. Or would he play for the newly rejuvenated Ohio State Buckeyes? Guess we’ll have to find out!
My point here is that the idea of LeBron playing for Golden State is comical at best in my opinion. It’s an ESPN troll article trying to stir the pot. Will LeBron leave Cleveland? There’s a strong likelihood. Will it be to go play for Golden State? Absolutely not. Not in a gazillion years. Go home ESPN and Chris Haynes, you’re both drunk.