Millennials are Apparently Embedding Diamonds in their Fingers in lieu of Wearing Engagement Rings?!

By AF, Confused and Dumbfounded

First of all, ya boy is back. Sorry for the hiatus, but life became pretty hectic in the past few months. Fear not though! I am (hopefully) going to be bringing back blogs for you to barely read on a regular basis moving forward. I had to write about this because I am legitimately astounded by how dumb this is. First, I’m going to provide you with my source article HERE. <— I even set it up to open in a new window, so you don’t have to hit the “Back” button. You’re welcome.

I’d like to preface this by saying this feels like one of those situations where someone sees or hears about a couple people doing something and turning it into an exaggeration of sorts. “There are so many people doing it!” Meanwhile, there are seven people in some no name town doing it.

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But I mean, come on. Are you kidding me?! I’m technically a millennial and this makes me hate millennials more so than I already do. There are so many things wrong with this “trend” (if that’s what you want to call it). Other generations already think we are dumb as hell to begin with. So you know what we do? We bedazzle our f**king fingers. Brilliant.

On top of that, just having the diamond embedded in your finger gets rid of the cheapest part of the ring! Wow what a bargain. Glad I got rid of that band that cost me 1/gazillionth of what the diamond cost me. Maybe if those damn baby boomers didn’t bleed out social security, we could afford bands for our engagement rings!

Let’s also think about the process here. A person buys just a diamond and puts it in a box. That person proposes with said box and diamond. Then, the happy newly engaged couple walks down to the nearest piercing pagoda or tattoo parlor and says “hello person working here. Please carve part of my finger out, then take this diamond that costs thousands of dollars and EMBED IT IN MY FINGER. How astronomically stupid. “Look Grandma, I’m engaged! The diamond is inside my finger!”


And also, let’s not forget that diamonds can snag or get caught on stuff. You want to have a bad day? Have a $3000 diamond instantly ripped out of your finger. Now, you’ve just lost a $3000 diamond AND have a gaping hole in your ring finger. Don’t worry, you’ll get a fancy new scar that’ll definitely look prettier than the diamond did!

Look, millennials get scrutinized for every single thing they do. You would think by now that our generation would figure out to stop doing really dumb shit for the sake of trying to look cool. It happens all the damn time and people just hop on board with it. If this ends up becoming popular, I will personally email Elon Musk and ask him to send me to Mars once we have civilization there. I won’t want to live here anymore.

Stop doing dumb millennial bullshit.

PS I bought my wonderful fiancee a normal engagement ring and she loved it. She didn’t want to just put the diamond(s) in her finger instead. I bet your girlfriend will love a normal ring too!

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